Evangelion: Zero
by King Drako Starwind
Summary: Ultima Tech and myself have teamed up to bring you the most insane thrill ride yet. Big surprises await in future chapters to come.
1. Chapter One

Disclaimer: We do not own Neon Genesis Evangelion. Stuido Gainax is the brain behind its existence, and we are truly grateful. We are also happy, because Studio Gainax loves us and would never sue someone because they happened to borrow their creations for a non-profitable fan fiction stories.

Scenario: A/U, OOC Shinji, OOC Rei, OOC Kaoru, enough said…

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EVANGELION ZERO

Written by the deadly alliance of King Drako Starwind and Ultima Bigaroh

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**Chapter One**

September 12th, 2017. Tokyo, Japan. 0710 hours JST, It was a typical day for Shinji Ikari. As usual, the morning was started when Asuka Langley Sohryu barged into his bedroom and slapped him on his head to wake him up.

"Wake up, stupid!" she screamed  into his ears, at the top of her lungs.

"Ow, God Damn it! Why the hell do you keep on doing that?" the young man fiercely replied.

Asuka glared at him. "Idiot, you slept in, again!"

Shinji shrugged it off before rising from his bed. When he did get out of bed, Asuka could see the bulge in his pants.

"I guess you're happy to see me," Asuka implied with a sick grin plastered to her face.

Shinji's abrupt response was, "Yes, I mean... no!" He then remembered something, and appeared to be spacing out at the same time, _I almost forgot, mother and father are going to tell us what all the training was for._

For the past several years; Shinji, Asuka (Shinji's FRIEND), Rei Ikari (Shinji's twin sister), and Kaoru Nagisa (Rei's boyfriend), have been in strenuous military training at the A.P.D.F. (Allied Planetary Defense Force) Headquarters.

Asuka noticed he was staring into black space, "Shinji, stop having perverted fantasies about me!"

"I wasn't thinking about you like that, I swear it!"

Asuka glared at him a bit, then winked afterwards. She walked out of his room and left him to get dressed. Naturally, he dressed into his blue A.P.D.F. uniform, which was laying atop of his desk.

After getting dressed, washing his face, and brushing his teeth, Shinji ran outside to greet his friends and sister.

Rei rolled her eyes, "Took you long enough, brother. Stroking your bologna pony, hmm?" 

Shinji glared at her. "Whatever, let's go." He thought_, God damn bitch._

They hopped into Shinji's Cherry Red, 1974 Mustang Convertible. Asuka, as usual, took shotgun and cranked the car's premium 7.1 channel Dolby Digital audio system up to full blast, playing some an album from some random death metal band that most people label as NOISE. On the other hand, Rei and Kaoru were making out in the back seat.

Shinji, severely irritated, thought to himself, _this sucks. _Shinji pulled out of the driveway and made way for the A.P.D.F. Five minutes later, Shinji couldn't take it any more. He screamed in bloody rage, "Turn that God damn noise off!" He then turned his attention to the rear-view mirror, at the two passengers who were virtually groping each other. "You in the back, that's fucking gross!" Seeing the rage in his eyes, they did as they were told.

When they got to work some odd minutes later, they went straight to the briefing room.

"Please take your seats," Lead Scientist, Yui Ikari, instructed,  "today you will find out why you have been in training for the past several years. You all know about the asteroid that crashed into Munich, Germany ten years ago, correct?

The children nodded.

Yui went on, "The story about the asteroid was just that, a story. It was analyzed by the A.P.D.F. and we discovered that it was really a alien spacecraft that was shot down by the United States Military."

Asuka burst out in open laughter while the other children were oblivious to what was so funny.

"Asuka, please shut the hell up," Shinji told the redhead, "mother, please go on."

Yui nodded, "we analyzed the spacecraft, and by searching through and compiling their databases, we found out that they planned on attacking Earth in ten years. By replicating the  technology onboard the craft, we were able to construct Evangelions, or simply, EVAs."

"What are EVAs?" Rei inquired.

Yui replied, pointing to a blast shielded window with her left had. Yui, with her left ring finger, pressed a button and the blast shield was raised. They saw seven gigantic humanoid machines.

"Wow, how tall are they?" Shinji asked.

"120 meters," Yui replied. "This is what you have been training for the past several years. You will pilot the EVAs to save the Earth."

The four children found themselves in a moment of eerie silence…

…and After the moment of silence, Shinji spoke up, "mother, I knew the training was for something important. But this… I had no idea!"

Yui continued without replying to her son, "meet the rest of your team."

As if on queue, three other teenagers walked in.

Doctor Yui Ikari introduced the newcomers, "they were trained under the American branch of the A.P.D.F. Their names are Toji Suzuhara, Hikari Horaki, and Kensuke Aida." The seven teens stood up straight and saluted to each other.

Unexpectedly, two attractive, big breasted women walked in. One had violet hair, and the other had blonde hair.

Yui was a little surprised, "Ah, Colonel Misato Katsuragi and Doctor Ritsuko Akagi, how unexpected. Would you mind telling the pilots about the EVA's weapons and functionality?"

Ritsuko replied, "no problem. With the magnum booster drive and the fiber optic entry plug wiring, you will be able to leap over eight story sky scrapers and run at Mach III speeds."

Misato continued, "As for the the weapons, you will be using a multi-purpose Garber for close combat.

Shinji inquired, "what functions does it have?"

Misato replied, "I'm glad you asked that, Ikari. The Garber has four functions.  It can be used as a spear, katana, ax, and can be split into a couple of wakasashis."

Yui replied, "this meeting is over. You are off duty until 1800 hours. We expect to see you then for entry plug training."

Rei asked Asuka, "You wanna hang out at the mall until then?"

Asuka replied, "I have nothing better to do. What about you, new girl?"

Hikari's responded, "Thanks, I would love to."

Kaoru asked Shinji, "You think we should take the new guys to the pub?"

Shinji replied, "Well, the girls are getting together, so we might as well.

Shinji then asked Toji and Kensuke if they would like to go to a pub.

Kensuke inquired, "you're allowed to drink here?"

Shinji answered his inquiry, "not normally. However, we're soldiers. We get to do whatever we want here."

Toji shouts out, "Hell yeah! I could definitely go for a Smirnoff and a shot of vodka right about now."

Kensuke replied, "Sweet!"

Shinji said "well, let's get moving."

"Wait right there, Ikari!" Asuka growled.

"Yeah, yeah, what is it?" Shinji asked.

"We need a ride to the mall!"

Toji asked, "Can you drive?"

Asuka replied, "Of course I can, stooge."

Toji then picked his pocket and drew a set of keys and threw them to Hikari. "As long as Horaki drives, I will trust you to my car."

Hikari blushed, then bowed, "T-thank you, Suzuhara." 

*****

Nearly ten minutes later, after wandering the ridiculously long corridors of the A.P.D.F., Shinji and the others finally made it to the parking lot. The males and females said their good byes, then the females head downwards to Toji's car.

Toji asked, "which car is yours?"

Shinji simply replied, "The cherry red car…"

Kensuke was a bit excited, "That's your car? That's a 1974 Mustang, and one hell of a sweet ride!"

Shinji smirked. "thanks, I completely restored it myself."

Kensuke, needless-to-say, was drooling.

*****

At the mall's food court, the females, clad with bags that were more-than-likely stuffed with clothes, stuffed their mouths with some random fast food and having a conversation.

Asuka inquired, "so, how do you like living here in Japan?"

Hikari replied, "Actually, I was born here. However; I only lived in Japan for a month until we moved to the states. Same goes for Aida and Suzuhara. Because I lived in the U.S. so long, I consider it my home. It's nice here, but I miss the U.S. every now and again. You're not from here, are you?"  
  


Asuka replies, "nope, I am from Germany, the greatest country there is!"

Rei muttered, "you'll get used to her after awhile, we all do."

Asuka then growled, "What in the hell do you mean by that? Are you implying that I'm egomaniacal?"

Hikari giggled a bit, then she said, "I think I'm going to enjoy living here after all."

*****

About twenty-eight minutes after leaving the A.P.D.F. compound, the guys arrived at the pub.

The bar tender greeted them, "Yo!"

"Shut the fuck up," Kaoru replied with a sick grin, "you know we don't like you."

Shinji chuckled a bit, then ordered the drinks, "four Smirnoff Ices, a bottle of Absolut Vodka, and four shot glasses."

Kensuke inquired, "do you guys come here a lot?"

Shinji replied, "we sure do. He just acts that way to the bar tender because they are pretty good friends."

Out of the blue, Toji blurted out, "You know, Ikari, your sister is pretty damn fine."

Indeed, Toji has earned a couple of vicious glares from Shinji and Kaoru. 

End of Chapter One.

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King Drako's Notes: This is King Drako Starwind, king of the Outlonian Empire, and this is my first collaboration with Ultima Bigaroh. I hope you liked it. We put time and effort into it so it will ensure that it is an excellent series. There will be more chapters in times to come, with surprises around every corner and events that you won't believe. That is all form me for the moment… oh yes, for you little fuck nuts who don't like this, go fuck your little bitch dogs, because that is what you are. Signing off… -KDS

Ultima Bigaroh's Notes: Wow, what a great guy! A noble king, indeed. I have to say, this was a great collaboration (the only collaboration of mine that DOESN'T suck). With his creative and perverse ideas, inevitably, this will be an exciting fan fiction series to work on. By the way, if you like my EVA no More, Gundam Now series, you'll be happy to know that the first lemon side story (two in all) is on my Geocities sub domain. Until next time… -UB


	2. Chapter Two

**Chapter Two**

Seconds after Toji pointed out that Rei was hot…

Koaru was not taking the situation lightly. "You better stay away from her, got it? I'll rip you a new asshole if I see you within 25 meters of her!"

Toji surrendered by raising his hands in defeat. "Okay, okay. Let me guess, you two are an item?"

Koaru, still somewhat cross, replied, "Got that right, so you better stay away from her."

Toji considered another prospect. "What about Asuka?"

A few moments passed in awkward silence…

Toji asked again, "So, what about As…"

"…I think she might be in love with Shinji," Kaoru interrupted

Shinji pondered the situation. "I don't think she feels that way at all."

Kaoru asked, "Do you love her though?"

Shinji replied, "I don't know…"

Kensuke said, "You know that Hikari is in love with you. You can get her to do whatever you want."

Toji replied, "I know, I know, but I always wanted to have a threesome with her and another hot girl."

Sweatbeads dripped down the heads of the other guys.

((((S))))

Three hours of drinking and getting to know each other flew by. It was time for the testing…

Shinji, Kaoru, Toji, and Kensuke arrived at the APDF completely drunk. Asuka stormed up to Shinji and screamed, "You dumb ass! Why did you get drunk today? Couldn't you idiots have waited until tomorrow?"

Shinji smiled and reached out for Asuka, grabbing her shoulders and pulled her towards him. Flabbergasted, Asuka looks at Shinji with much curiosity. "What do you think you're doing?"

Shinji replied, drunkenly, "I know you love me, baby! Why don't you stop hiding it, damn it! I mean, I love you Asuka!"

Rei and Kaoru both looked at Shinji with dropped jaws, not believing what he said.

Rei insisted that her brother was not thinking straight, "Asuka, don't believe a word he is saying. He is drunk and acting like an idiot."

Shinji said, "Butt out of this, woman!" He turned his attention back to the redhead. "I love you Asuka, since the first time I saw you!" He asked, "do you love me?"

Asuka paused for a minute to consider this. She replied, 'I love you too, Shinji, I always have."

Toji screamed, "A match made in heaven! We gotta go out and celebrate! Who's up for another round of binge drinking?!"

Shinji told Toji, "Shut the fuck up!" After being interrupted again, he turned his gaze back to Asuka. "I should have told you this long ago. I truly do love you, Asuka Langley Sohryu."

Asuka replied, "Shinji, I am so madly in love with you. I can never stop thinking about you." She tackled him and kissed him all over. His lips, his neck, his chest…

Rei, annoyed, screamed, "Get a room, you hentais!"

Yui came in, not expecting what she saw. "What is going on here?! You are supposed to be in the hangers for testing!"

Kaoru and Toji stumbled over to Yui.

Kaoru drunkenly said, "Asuka and Shinji have declared their love for each other, isn't that so sweet?"

Toji drunkenly said, "You are really pretty!"

Yui was furious, but tried to keep her cool. With a fake smile, she inquired, "Rei, what in the hell is going on?"

Rei answered her inquirey, "These four went drinking, and idiot Shinji finally mustered up enough balls to tell Asuka how he felt about her and vice verca."

Asuka was still kissing Shinji all over.

Yui couldn't handle her rage any longer. "You two quit that right now, God damn it! If you don't stop this non-sense, I'll get guards to escort you out of the base."

Shinji drunkenly stated, "But mom, we're in love!"

Yui asked Rei, "Where is Aida?"

Rei replied, "He's puking out by Shinji's car. Either that, or he's puking inside the car…"

Suddenly, out of nowhere, five gigantic objects fall from the sky. A planetary defense satellite fires pulse lasers at of the objects, hitting it and forcing it to burrow underground. The other four that landed, and four giant mecha's stepped out of the hatches.

Yui yelled, "Everyone, get down to the lower levels, now!"

When they finally got down to the main control room, they find all but Shinji's unit were blocked off from launch because of the fifth object's burrowed state.

Gendo ordered, "We must launch Shinji and his Evangelion to fight them."

Yui sighed, "We can't… he's intoxicated."

A bewildered Gendo yelled, "What?!"

Rei confirmed her mother's statement, "Yep, mother's right. All four of the guys went out drinking…"

Misato came running in. "Shinji has to launch now. We have scanned the enemy units, and we know what classifications they are. We have two close combat units, one heavily armored gun unit, and one long-range sniper type. He needs to launch now. These four alone could do a lot of damage to the earth."

Rei, yet again, said, "He's drunk…"

Aoba said, "Unit 01, prepare to launch!" After all preparations were go, he ordered, "EVA launch!"

Gendo, Yui, and Misato rushed in the control room like a herd of elephants.

Yui and Misato simultaneously asked, "Why is he launching?"

Misato followed up, "He's intoxicated, why didn't someone stop him?"

Kaoru and Toji walked into the control room.

Toji said, "We tried."

Kaoru followed up, "He beat the shit out of us before we could stop him…"

Shinji's com window popped up. "Pilot Ikari here. I'm about to kick some ass!" He saw the longrange sniper type first. Charging at it, it turned around and a second later, it lost its head with Shinji's progressive katana. The next one he went after was the heavily armed one. With its comrade dead, it opened fire on Shinji. Command put up a blockade and a weapon for Shinji. He grabbed the gatling rifle from inside the barricade, and used his jet pack boosters to hover. The enemy unit looked up, but was blinded by the sun's rays. On Shinji's way down, he opened fire, direct hits for every round. After he landed, the heavily armored unit was reduced to scrap metal. He dropped the gatling rifle and draws out his progressive katana and the progressive garber in battle ax mode. The first close unit charged at him with an over head cut, though Shinji blocked it. He struck at it with his battle ax, but the enemy evaded. The second one charged in, and attacked with a side strike. Shinji evaded the strike and thus began the 2-on-1 duel between Shinji and the melee units. They attacked him together, though he evaded or blocked every strike. After two minutes, Shinji yelled, "I'm tired of this fuckin' shit! Prepare to die!" He lunged at the first one, pushing its sword away with his and chopped it up the progressive garber. The second one jumped back before Shinji could cut it in half. It lunged at him, coming straight in with its sword. Shinji evaded it at warp speeds, like a phantom. Simultaneously cutting in half both horizontally and vertically with his progressive katana and garber.

((((S))))

Shinji returned to base. When he stepped out, Yui and Asuka were waiting for him.

Asuka wrapped her arms around him. "You are my hero!" She looked down at his right forearm, and saw it was bleeding.

Ritsuko, on the scene, said, "Let me look at that." She led him to the infirmary.

((((S))))

Everyone waited outside the infirmary, anxious to find out how Shinji was holding up.

Minutes later, Ritsuko came out. Asuka jumped up, "How is he? Is it bad?"

Ritsuko said, "It wasn't too bad, but I figured why it happened. It wasn't because of any damage to his unit, it was because his right arm moved at such incredible speed during the final assault. "

Yui couldn't compute. "How could that be the reason?"

Ritsuko replied, "His body isn't used to that much power and speed. The EVAs work by our bodies limits. When Shinji pushed himself beyond his limits, it literally ripped open the flesh.

The alarm system went off. Gendo's voice was heard over the intercom, "Everyone report to the bridge."

It seems more trouble was on the horizon. When they were on the bridge, Gendo debriefed them on the situation. "Five more units have landed in Paris, France. We have been ordered to take a team there to take them out. Yui, Rei, Koaru, and Kensuke, you will be going with me to Paris. Shinji and the others will stay here incase they attack elsewhere."

Shinji, as arrogant as ever, spoke up, "Fuck this flesh wound, I'll get in my mecha and bust some ass right now!"

Misato said, "Even if you did not injure yourself, you DID damaged the EVA. We must replace the unit's arm first."

((((S))))

Gendo, Yui, Rei, Kaoru, and Kensuke boarded an APDF battle cruiser and headed west for France. Three hours later, they arrived. Rei, Kaoru, and Kensuke dropped out of the cruiser in their units. Before they even hit the ground, Rei took out two units with her sniper rifle.

Rei said, "There's only three left. They are all close combat. Open fire, guys!"

The enemy units took cover. Kaoru, acting like the brave hero, dropped his rifle and charged at him. One of the units tripped him from behind a building. A second one stood up and was about to lunge a sword into his unit's head. Rei shot her round right through the enemy's skull, Kaoru then lunged his garber in lance mode at the other enemy unit.

Rei said, "You owe me one, Kaoru. That means you follow my orders in bed tonight!"

Kensuke, somewhat disgusted, said, "You might not get a chance if we don't kill this last one!"

They spread out, looking for the last enemy unit. Kensuke found it when it charged at him. He opened fire, and blew off one of its legs.  The unit hit the ground and tumbled a half kilometer. Kensuke walked over with his progressive garber, now in katana mode, and decapitated the enemy unit. He said, "The battle is over, I got the last one."

All three of them walked to the airport, where the plane landed. Yui walked out, load your units on to the plane, although we're not leaving until tomorrow.

((((S))))

In Tokyo, Shinji and Asuka were sitting in Shinji's living room. While Toji is getting over his hangover and the beating he received at Shinji's hands. Of course the reliable Hikari nursed him back to health. Shinji and Asuka began to kiss, but then it got out of control, so much that they had to continue the rest in his bedroom. The next morning, Shinji and Toji wake up to the smell of a delicious breakfast. They both walk out of their rooms at the same time, wearing only their boxer shorts. They walked over to the table, and look into the kitchen. They saw their woman fully nude, minus an apron, cooking breakfast. They sat back and waited to be served.

Shinji said to Toji, "I guess we both had a good night last night. Let me rephrase that… we both had an excellent night, last night."

Toji, with a triumphant grin, said, "I'm really glad you had a guest room for us to stay in."

Shinji chuckled, then replied, "I guess we're all just one big family in a way."

((((S))))

In France, Yui walked in on Gendo lying with a French prostitue… She screamed at the top of her lungs, "You're never stepping foot in my house again. This is it! I swear. I will never be with a man again. As of now, I will be a lesbian!" She ran away, crying.

Gendo quickly got up and put his pants on, and ran after her. Kaoru (who overheard) stepped out of his (and Rei's) room, and said, "Leave her alone man, she doesn't want to be near you right now."

Gendo growled, "Get out of my way, now!" He pushed him aside.

Rei ordered, "Stop him, Kaoru!"

Kaoru tackled Gendo and beat the shit out of him.

Kensuke came out of his room and said, "What is going on here?!"

Rei informed him of what happened. Kensuke walked over to Gendo, and helped Kaoru beat him into a bloody mess.

Yui, Rei, Kaoru, and Kensuke returned to Tokyo, leaving Gendo with his whore.

((((S))))

They arrived at HQ. Shinji asked, "Where's dad?"

Rei told him what happened, and everyone looked at Shinji. None one has ever seen him so pissed off before, and of course, they were in fear for their lives. He stormed into his father's office, contacting APDF executives, and demanded that a new leader of the APFD be appointed, or that he will never pilot again.

The executives pondered this decision for over an hour. After reading the report on his battle with four enemy units, they agreed his loss as a pilot was out of the question. They happily fired Gendo and appointed three people to oversee the entire APDF. Shinji asked, "Who are they?"

The head executive replied, "Doctor Yui Ikari, Major Misato Katsuragi, and Doctor Ritsuko Akagi."

Shinji did not complain with their decision. Going to congratulate them all them he first ran into Misato and showed her the papers from the APDF executives. Misato gave him a huge bear hug, a told him, "Good work."

Next, he went to find his mother and Ritsuko. He went into his mother's office, and found his mother and Ritsuko…

…He was not prepared for what he saw.

**End Chapter Two.**

((((P))))

King Drako Starwind's Notes: Chapter two is where we decided to define this fan fic series. I have to say, this is definetly my best work to date. I have posted much here, but this is definitely my best work. I could not do this great story without Ultima Tech Incorporated. I hope you enjoyed this, I put much time and effort into this, we all did. If you loved this chapter, you will ultimately love the next one. And if you have a problem with my writing, fuck you. If you have a problem with that, come and find me, and I'll beat the shit out of you. Like always, see you next time… -KDS

Ultima Tech Notes: What do you get when you combine the demented talents of the most perverted, psychotic authors on this earth? Why, you get a totally orgasmic, jacked up story of holocaustic proportions, of course! You thought our (Ultima Tech Inc.) stand alone fics were bad? Well, with the KDS additive ingredients, the contents will become four times as perverse and wacked out, kinda like a death metal band composed of apes and prostitutes. Until next time… -UTI


	3. Chapter Three

**Chapter Three**

Shinji entered his mother's office and witnessed the shocking scene of his mother and Ritsuko making out on the couch.

He yelled, "What are you doing mom?"

Yui quickly turned to face her son while Ritsuko pulled her hand out of Yui's blouse. Misses Ikari tried to mask the panic in her voice, though she did not do the best job. "Shinji, what are you doing in here?"

Out of embarrassment, the boy averted his gaze from the floor to the ceiling. "Uh, I'm here to tell you, of your, um, promotion…and you also, Ritsuko."

With her voice now calm, Yui asked, "What promotion?"

Shinji, still nervous, shifts his gaze from one vertex of the room to another. "Well, uh, after Rei told me about what happened, I got kinda pissed off and contacted the APDF committee. I threatened to resign my status as a pilot if they did not fire that asshole father of mine. They agreed it would be unacceptable, so they granted me my wish. Um, I guess that means Misato, as well as the two of you, are in command of this facility."

"Look me in the eye, son."

The youngest of the Ikari family slowly shifted his field of view so it met with his mother's.

"Shinji, this is your first step to becoming a real man, unlike that dirt bag father of yours." Yui slowly closed in on her son, before pecking him on the forehead.

A second later, a knock was heard on the door, followed by Misato's entrance. She calmly addressed her coworkers. "Doctor Ikari, Doctor Ritsuko, since we are in command now, I believe we should discuss base procedure."

Yui regarded her son. "Shinji dear, why don't you go hang out with your friends?"

He did not complain. "Alright." Shinji started for the cafeteria. Along the way, he saw a girl headed towards in the direction of his mother's office, accompanied by an old man. The girl, who looked his age, had teal eyes, shoulder length maroon hair, a gorgeous face, and a fantastic figure to match. She was dressed in a short, tight, pink sundress. The hem was only about an inch below her crotch area, and the top portion was low cut, allowing generous cleavage to shine through. It showed off her C chest, as well as her flawless abdomen, hips, buttocks, and legs, which were nothing short of miraculous.

The old man was pretty tall and thin. He had gray hair, brown eyes, and was dressed in a brown suit and a red tie.

Shinji instantly recognized the old man, Kozo Fuyutski, the professor to his mother and father in their college years, as well as his god father. 'Who's the chic? She's fuggin' fine!'

After being passed, he stood still and watched as they entered his mother's office.

The young man pondered some more, 'Is she a pilot?'

Without any more thought on the matter, he continued on his trek to the cafeteria.

As Shinji entered the cafeteria, he saw his male comrades, Toji, Koaru, and Kensuke.

Toji, who's mouth was stuffed with a bean burrito, waved, "Yo, Shin man!"

The young Mister Ikari gave a slight node before taking a seat with his friends.

Nagisa asked, "Yo, how's it goin'?"

Shinji shrugged. "I dunno, but I think we're getting a new pilot."

Kensuke was curious. "Really, how do you know?"

"Well, when I was walking out of my mom's office, an old friend of the family was escorting a girl, our age, to her office. Man, was she hotter than anything I've ever seen. Anyway, I think he was bringing her for her reassignment here."

Kaoru asked, "How can you be sure?"

"Well, the guy escorting her was my god father, and my idiot father told me a while back that he was training new pilots."

Toji had a funny grin on his face. "You think she's hot, eh? I wonder what Asuka would think of that…"

Shinji replied, "How do you think Hikari would feel if your unit was _accidentally_ blown up in battle?"

Looks of fear were plastered on their faces, knowing the boy's malicious threats were, in fact, promises.

Suddenly, they were paged on the base PA. "Attention, this is doctor Ikari. All pilots and IT professionals are to report to the briefing room in one hour. Repeat, all pilots and IT professionals are to report to the briefing room in one hour."

Three certain young women strolled down the metal corridors of the APDF base. One had Cyan colored hair, another auburn, and the other brown. They were clad in their skin tight wife beaters, showing off their quite large B chests, which were tucked under their baggy camouflage pants. Of course, they were also equipped with knee high combat boots.

Asuka inquired, "So, Rei, how does it feel to be the first of us women to be in combat? Was it fun?"

Rei smiled. "It's hard to describe, though I'm sure it's almost better than sex. To truly understand how it feels, you have to do it yourself. Anyway, I heard you girls had an interesting experience while I was away."

Asuka clapped her hands together in an adoring fashion. "Your brother is so amazing in bed. His penis is like the holy grail!"

After hearing that last remark, Rei managed to choke on oxygen alone. "That's totally disgusting; I did not need to know that!"

Hikari asked, "…Right. How _did_ you hear about our _experience_?"

"Kaoru told me."

Miss Sohryu pressed on. "How did he find out?"

"I asked him the same question. He told me that Kensuke told him."

Miss Horaki had a plan. "The _men_ are probably in the cafeteria right now. Let's see if we can smoke out the rat."

The fiery redhead smiled. "Agreed!"

In the cafeteria, the girls sat a couple of tables away from the boys.

Rei had a delightful smirk on upon her beautiful face as she mockingly asked her friends, "Asuka, Hikari, I heard you two hand an interesting weekend with your boyfriends." She was quick to glare at Asuka. "Please, do not tell me about your time with my brother. That would be a mystery best left unsolved."

The redhead shrugged.

Hikari mocked confusion. "Interesting weekend?"

Rei giggled. "You know, his rod in your vertical smile for the first time? Fixing his breakfast the following morning, in the nude?"

Hikari smiled. "Of course!" Then she quickly frowned. "Who told you?"

"Kaoru."

"Who told him?"

"Kensuke."

"Who told him?"

"I don't know."

Hikari mocked pouting. "That's too bad, I really wish I could give that jerk a firm kick to the family jewels."

Across the room, Toji cringed. "Not the family jewels, I beg of you!"

Hikari shot up from her seat. "It was you!"

Toji shot up from his seat also, his hands raised defensively. "I'm so sorry baby, really!"

Hikari smiled warmly at him as she slowly approached where he was standing. "Honest?"

"Honest."

They smiled at each other reassuringly, right before Hikari hissed.

All Mister Suzuhara could think was 'Uh oh,' right before receiving a fierce kick to the nuts from a steel toe. The entire facility echoed with a scream of agonizing pain.

Hikari screamed, "You will not even receive even one hug from me this next month!"

In the Ops area, everyone was gathered. All the pilots were seated, except for Toji, who was holding an ice pack against his scrotum. The maroon haired newcomer stood at the head of the room, on the right side of Yui Ikari. Also, there were two other guys and one female. The three of them seemed to be around 21, and were the base's leading techs. The female had short brown hair and brown eyes. She also sported a nice figure. She was Doctor Ritsuko Akagi's direct assistant, Lieutenant Commander Maya Ibuki. One of the men had short, spikey black hair and glasses. Lieutenant Hyuga Makoto spaced out as he gazed upon Misato.

Shinji pondered, 'Hope he doesn't get caught looking, Misato would probably make him end up like Toji.'

The other guy, Lieutenant Shigeru Aoba, had long brown hair, and constantly eyed the cyan-haired Ikari.

Shinji chuckled internally. 'Man, that guy has got bad taste.' He glanced over at his childhood friend, Kaoru Nagisa, who was shifting his gaze from Rei to Aoba. The youngest Ikari sighed. 'Oh yeah, there's gonna be a fight between those two.'

"Attention, pilots, IT professionals, this is Ensign Mana Kirishima, who recently transferred from the Matsushiro branch.

Mana beamed as she waved. "Hi everyone! It's so nice to meet you all!"

Rei, Hikari, and Asuka frowned in disgust at the overly cute girl's optimism.

The maroon haired pilot glanced at Shinji. 'So he's the director's son and the number one pilot, eh? He's so cute!'

Shinji looked at Mana. 'No way, is she checking me out?' He smiled. 'She must be!'

Asuka, after witnessing their eye contact, growled internally. 'What a slut!'

After several boring words uttered from Yui's word hole, she finally spoke to her son. "_Lieutenant_ Shinji Ikari, you will give Ensign Kirishima a tour of the base."

Shinji was happy. 'Alright, promotion, and who knows where things will go with that Kirishima girl.'

Mana clapped her hands together in delight. "How utterly delightful!" She beamed like the sun.

Asuka growled, "No way!"

Yui ignored Asuka's rudeness. "Ensign Kirishima, you will be bunking at our place. We have more than enough guest rooms in our estate."

Rei hissed internally. 'I have to live with that tramp?'

Asuka also was angered by this revelation. 'That bitch, she's gonna be living with my Shin-chan! She'll probably try to steal him too!'

Later, as Shinji and Mana strolled down the metal corridors of the APDF headquarters…

Shinji pointed out a large set of steel double doors. "Um, that's the cafeteria, we usually stuff our faces with bean burritos before going to our little pub to drink ourselves senseless."

Mana nearly screamed. "Wow, that's so interesting!"

Shinji shrugged. "Don't know about that."

Ensign Kirishima giggled. "Say, don't you think that Asuka girl is dangerous? It took five guards to haul her to the brig."

Lieutenant Ikari nodded in agreement. "Yeah, she's something all right."

"Shinji…?"

"Y-yes?"

"You're really cute, you know that?"

"Not really…"

"Non sense! Too bad you're not free…"

"Huh?"

Her smile betrayed her words. "It's too bad that Asuka and you are an item."

"You knew?"

"Yeah, but there's something you should be aware of…"

"What's that?"

Mana placed her left hand on Shinji's right shoulder as she leaned in to whisper, "What Asuka doesn't know, won't kill her."

He leapt back in shock after a peck on the cheek. "Isn't it a bit early for that?"

Mana, beaming with that annoyingly ever happy face, shook her head. "No, not if you believe in love at first sight."

Shinji trembled in fear. 'Oh man, what do I do? I don't want to hurt her feelings, but I don't want to betray Asuka either!'

**End Chapter Three**

**Author's Notes**

Ultima Tech: Nothing comes to mind.****

King Drako Starwind: Great fan fic we wrote, huh? We worked long and hard on it; hoped you enjoyed it. If you didn't: kiss my ass. I will be writing a new Final Fantasy fan fic, hope you will read it. We will try to get chapter four to you as soon as possible, but with work and school, it could prove difficult. See you next time… **-KDS**


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